Bumpy Patch in the Road

The last 24 hours have been somewhat of a trial for all of us. Yun Wei is really beginning to struggle with all of the change and I don't know how to help him except to pray and patiently be there for him. He will go from very happy and playful with the kids to somber and refusing to even acknowledge us. The very human part of me wants to help him in a way that will immediately "fix" it and make him happy---but there is nothing short of prayer, time, and consistently being there for him that will make this better. There is no quick fix...and that makes me want to cry.

We visited the orphanage this morning and it had been a rough night so I really was preparing myself for lots of tears and shut down at the orphanage. I almost did not want to go bc I thought it would just be too painful. We walked in and the caretakers were very sweet. It was a cheerfully decorated, but very cold (they don't have heating in most parts of the building) and fairly run down. There were about 7 caretakers that I actually got to meet. His bed was one of about thirty--all exactly the same. I expected to be introduced to some of his close friends, and while they did pull some kids in --he did not really say anything to any of them. We then walked to his classroom. There were five children in a small room with two teachers. It is a special needs class. He was not allowed to go to the public school bc of his swelling and so he is about a year behind. One of his classmates used a walker to get around and had the biggest smile on his face every time anyone acknowledged him. Again, he really did not interact a whole lot with the kids there...when he did begin to run around and play while we were there...it was with Donovan.

Again, everyone was very nice, but I began to realize that he had no particular caregiver that he was close to. They were just caregivers---one of many. They were nice--but they worked in shifts---it was a job. For those of you that don't know Yun Wei's background-he was left at a train station at four. He has memory of being left. They gave me the newspaper ad they placed when they found him. It was a general ad trying to find his parents. His picture is in it and his face and eyelids are so swollen from the Alports Syndrome it is painful to look at. I know somewhere down the road he will begin to share those painful memories...but for now he is just struggling with the concept of our family. Being a part of a family. That we aren't just more caregivers. And that Chloe and Donovan are his brother and sister--not just friends from the orphanage. We are permanent...we are here to stay. It is almost overload for me so I can just imagine how that plays out in a seven-year-old who can remember being left at a train station and who has had many caregivers, but no mom or dad all these years.

And so this is the struggle, the war within him. To trust or not to trust...to invest his heart or not...to even begin to wrap his mind around the changes is just too much at times.

So with that in mind, today at lunch we had a very angry, frustrated little boy. A boy who had only twenty minutes earlier been laughing and cutting up with Donovan and Chloe was now sitting at the table completely turned around in his chair--refusing to eat or even look at us. For the entire meal. It was painful to say the least. My throat hurt from choking back tears...I felt overwhelmed...but so did he. He walked silently back to the hotel with us. I am learning he DOES NOT want me to touch him a lot during these times. And that is okay--there are moments when he does. Chloe and Donovan are learning to read him too. They are ready to play when he decides he wants to again. And Don and I are ready with a hug, laugh, or smile when he comes back around. And he does...

I frantically posted to one of the adoption forums about this roller-coaster ride with Yun Wei. Two families quickly responded back to me that they were also in China and dealing with the same issues. It felt good to know we were not alone...

Please, please pray for Yun Wei. Pray for us to have wisdom in the way we comfort him. We so need your prayers.

God is good ALL the time...even in the hard stuff.

PS--I found about thirty of these pics of Ansley on my Iphone...don't you just love it when the three-year-old gets hold of the camera without your knowledge...missing my girls. Can't wait for them to meet their new brother!!

John 14:18 "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Yet a little while the world will see me no more, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you."